people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
