I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I touched a dick in church today
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
