I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
