Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
