okay pat passed out under dana's car
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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