We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
