Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I need to sanitize my soul.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
