he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
