Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
