none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
