if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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