haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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