The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
