I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
