rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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