i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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