You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
