im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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