I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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