Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
