You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
