sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
accomplished twins. life is a go
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
