His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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