come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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