when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
