I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She even gives head with a lisp.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
