Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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