I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
