Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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