evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Randomize
