Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
