We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
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