I'm really into asian looking animals
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize