ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
