the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
you will always have a special place in my vag
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
