They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
