Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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