So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
