Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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