Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
