I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
