PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
