C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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