I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize