new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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