No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
