The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
