Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
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