his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
