At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize