More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize