Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
