This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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