her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
