There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize