4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
