i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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