Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
