just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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